What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
