If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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