I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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