I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize