i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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