the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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