halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize