I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
