I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize