my mouth tastes like poor choices
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Bring me that man meat
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
