don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
