If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
