so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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