i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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