some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
