I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
