we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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