ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
