her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
