Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Pooping to opera.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize