I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
