Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
