is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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