If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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