So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
