she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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