The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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