i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
