yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
