Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
