I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
