Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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