Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
