I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
