I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
