dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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