The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
