ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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