i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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