I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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