it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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