Ambien. No doubt about it.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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