you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
