Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
