For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
