i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We left the knife in your bed.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize