handjob tips. give me some.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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