elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
