her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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