you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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