So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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