You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
