I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
