the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize