My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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