It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
