Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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