She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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