Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
