she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
