Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
