I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i came on her dog
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
