Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
