Don't make out with my wife yet
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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