I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
