how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
