After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
