Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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